My LifE

drugged... a new song i just wrote.. plz comment peeps

2005-09-06T22:00:00.000-07:00

drugged arr and written by mark
Verse 1
I'm sick and tired
I'm becoming senseless
I'm paralysed
This love game has made me
Distracted from my own very life

Pre-chorus
I cant help but quit this game of love
It has brought me too much pain
Its time I fix mi life again
Before I fall even further

Chorus
No I am not a quitter
But I'm too much of a loser
Too much losses aint good for health
And so I quit this game of love

I'm a loser I'm drugged

Verse2
I've given in mi best
I've given in all I think I had
But I still keep losing
I don't think I'm fit to play this game

Pre-chorus
If onli I never played this game
I wont have given up on me
I guess I am worth nobody's love
And now I am crying to sleep again

Chorus

Bridge
I think I'm drugged
I think I'm blinded
Pain inflicted
Self mutilated

Passionly blinded
Down with the sickness
Wats passed is passed
I'm movin on...

chorus

tell mi wat's going on

2005-08-22T21:01:00.000-07:00

hi peeps sup all ya....hahaz... soriez haven been updating mi blog for ages... maybe i just didnt have the mood....
peeps.. ain't it just tragic when life beats the life out of u.... its an irony ain't it? hahaz... maybe thats just for me
was there ever a time when ya thought everything was going fine then one fine dae it just turns against u...
when the whole world falls on u.. wat ya do?
i am a normal person..... i cant take heavy blows.. and right now.. i'm just stuck in this hole which i cant get out of...
life... i'm played in circles.. its funnny its tragic.. wateva...
guys tell mi... help mi find dat way... cause i cant find it myself

new song titled : My Final Note plz tell mi how u feel bout it.. see ya all soon

2005-07-17T23:15:00.000-07:00

titled: My Final Note arr mark

I'm sick of this life oh my friend
it looks like it has come to its end
i'm sick of the sorrows the pain that will follow
its true i'm lost and confused

The theory of life is all flawed and deceiving
the pain this life brings is just not worth the living
i cry to mi sleep, and mi heart keeps on bleeding
the dove's heart stops beating. it lost all its feelings
and all that we hear are the lies
all that we say are the lies
we lost all the meaning we lost life's main purpose
in this case we might as well die

chorus:
(they say) life' end of the road is to die
the journey is the purpose of life
(they say) live life to the fullest do all that u like
(but) are we allowed to do that in life?
society maps out our lives!

the journey of life is a bore
its tiring, i'm sick of it all
how can i live life to the fullest when there is
so much restriction, i'm bound for condemnation
i'm sick of this life my friend
i guess i've just lost and i'm damned

since the journey is hopeless
there's no point in living
dying much sooner is a form of relieving
escaping frm reality
but this escape is forever my friend

chorus

bridge
i'm looking at the world frm a bird's eye view
everyone's looking so small and so cute
i wanna be superman i'll take this dive and i'm free

good charlotte: the chronicles of life and death

2005-07-14T23:15:00.000-07:00

one of my all time faves gotta check one out pple!
so inspirational...so moving.. easy to relate... gotta be one of the bast songs ard.. honest and direct.. peace out!

The chronicles of life and death arr Good Charlotte

You come in cold, you're covered in blood
They're all so happy you've arrived
The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom
She sets you free into this life

And where do you go
With no destination, no map to guide you
Wouldn't you know that it doesn't matter; we all end up the same

These are the chronicles of life and death and everything between
These are the stories of our lives, as fictional as they may seem
You come in this world, and you go out just the same
Today could be the best day of your life

And money talks, in this world that's what idiots will say
But you'll find out, that this world is just an idiots parade
Before you go, you've got some questions, and you want answers
But now you're old, cold covered in blood
Right back to where you started from

These are the chronicles of life and death and everything between
These are the stories of our lives, as fictional as they may seem
You come in this world, and you go out just the same
Today could be the worst day of your life

These are the chronicles of life and death and everything between
These are the stories of our lives, as fictional as they may seem
You come in this world, and you go out just the same
Today could be the best day of,
Today could be the worst day of,
Today could be the last day of your life.
It's your life
Your life

its your life

2005-07-14T23:05:00.000-07:00

sometimes in life we just attack blindly we work so hard for 60 yrs and realize when we wanna enjoy what we sowed we're gonna die.. seriously people... have we lost it all? do we still understand the fundamental basis of the meaning of life...why we live life? seriously does it belong to us? we live our lives on people's expectations be it parents to society to teachers that we sold ourselves out... why cant we live life the way we want do... pursue dreams that we have? but yet again.. can we dream? are we allowed to? its our life? is it?

check out this speech by steve jobs the CEO of Apple... just tells us the chronicles of life and death enjoy...

'You've got to find what you love,' Jobs says

This is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005.

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky---I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation - the Macintosh - a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me – I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I retuned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.

This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much.

Please come back ( i hope you know)

2005-07-10T23:45:00.000-07:00

hahaz.. another song that i wrote... plz gimme feed back k? hahaz.. how ya guys out there.. miss ya all and see ya all soon.. peace' out!

Please come back(i know u know) words and arr. by Mark

verse 1
I dream of you
wished you're back here with me
i wished you understand
i need you so badly

i know i dun deserve
your love and symphathy
but i need you desperately
gal plz come back to me( i hope you know)

chorus
You are my motivation
the strength that pushes me on
the fire dat burns till dawn
u keep my life lighted in the darkness

verse 2
I see your face
brings tears to me
brings back those memories
that we spent together happily

i miss those laughters ringing
those kisses that were everlasting
that bond thats unbreakable
oh gal lets just revive that!

chorus

bridge
i dun wanna spend another moment
in darkness thats life without u
gal plz give us one more chance
i swear till death shall do us part!

chorus x2

Alone self written track please gimme feedback k?

2005-06-26T01:09:00.000-07:00

Haiz... just feeling kind of down... sick and tired so i decided to pen a song... check it out.. and gimme yur comments k? thanks peeps miss ya all and see ya soon...

Alone

Chorus:
And I feel so alone
I don't know where to go
So insecure
I'm falling now,
Falling to pieces
Does anybody care
The weight on my shoulders
Falls on me

Verse 1:
And I cry to no response
The screaming hurts my ears
Society burns my tears
I'm left wide open

Everytime I get up
Someone will hit me down
I'm getting sick and tired
Of trying to stand up

Chorus

Verse 2:
And I scream to no avail
Everybody's leaving now
And I'm left here by myself
Sympathising me

No matter how loud I shout
All I get is echo from the vacuum
I'm leaving now
I'm gonna find myself

Chorus

Bridge:
Paranoia creeping
Fear's more than a feeling
Life is just like dreaming
It eats u alive

Chorus

INFORMATION ON MY BAND'S PERFORMANCE DETAILS FOR SCHOOL OF ROCK

2005-06-21T00:05:00.000-07:00

TIME:4:50PM
VENUE:SPH AUDITORIUM AT TOA PAYOH(NEAREST MRT BRADDELL)
DATE:28TH JUNE 2005(TUESDAY)

peeps... please some support k? if ya all wanna come and got any queries msg mi at 96969723 k? see ya guys soon.. take care peace out!

plz give yur support to the band UNTITLED

2005-06-20T01:28:00.000-07:00

HI PEEPS.. MI AGAIN... YEA.. MI BAND IS PARTICAPATING IN THE SCHOOOL OF ROCK COMPETITION...INVITING ALL BROS PEEPS AND BUDS PLEASE COME SHOW MI SUPPORT K? HAHAZ... IT WILL BE HELD AT SPH AUDITORIUM THE DATE THEY HAVEN CONFIRM WITH US SO WILL LET U ALL KNOW ASAP K? WILL BE LATE JUNE.. THANKS FOR SHOWING YUR SUPPORT AND HOPE TO HENCE SEE YA GUYS SOON.. UNTITLED WILL BE PERFORMING SIMPLE PLAN'S CRAZY AND REALLI WISH TO SEE YA GUYS THERE... WILL KEEP YA ALL UPDATED PEACE OUT MISS YA ALL NITEZ!

SUP PEEPS!!!

2005-06-09T00:00:00.000-07:00

soriez not been updating for some time lehz...hahaz... hows life ya all? hope ya all doing fine alright... and wat the hack happened to 05B13 site???!!! GONE!!!!! anyways.. oh ya btw.. mi band will be performing in SR in ard august and we may be gigging so suppport k??!!! hahaz lol... will inform u if ya interested bout the time everything k? yea... MISS YA ALL LOTS PPLE!!! 05B13 MI never dies k? three cheers!!!
phew works going piling like carzy gotta study... peace out.. regards to all peeps rest well study hard and good luck for exams and ermx watever ya got ed.. peacing out!!!

condemn conformity and the fakes.. i am who i am u gt a prob?

2005-06-08T23:42:00.000-07:00

realli gettin sick and tired of being sick and tired... first was the relation thingy.. draagy and boring... and a classmate of mine which was a complete error of misconceptualization and misunderstanding that i have of her...i thought she was someone who understood mi...hahaz... as typical mi being stupid... how wrong was i... secondly... teachers... fuck them all ( besides some ya know who ya are)... hypocritical pple nonetheless... but i have to contradict a little that some teachers in SR are brillant.. grattitudes in mi heart which aint vocal...
the rest are hypocrites.. gossiping about mi behaviour behind mi back...
i thnk simply that gal and that bunch of teachers are just dissatisfied cause i aint conforming!!! i aint gonna become wat u wan mi to be!!! i am not gonna change unless i am willing... peroid!
i am sure mi friends know wt kind of person i am and no matter wat happens i shalt not put that mask... dat facade u wan mi to put on.. cause i aint yur shit... this period of time is realli a crisis to mi and i realli hope i pull thru
ANYWAYAS.. HOW YA PEEPS OUT THERE???!!! PAK 05B13 4E5 SUP!!! MISS YA GUYS REAL LOTS SIAZ.. HOPEFULLY SEE YA GUYS SOON ALRIGHT? AND KEEP MI UPDATED BOUT YA ED STAY IN CONTACTS.. TREASURED FRIENDSHIPS... PEACE OUT!

blurry by puddle of mudd

2005-05-18T00:23:00.000-07:00

This song is for her... just wanna keep filling up songs for her which perfectly describe how i feel... hopefully one dae she will stumble across mi site..... and know just how i feel.....

Everything's so blurry
And everyone's so fake
And everybody's so empty
And everything is so messed up
Pre-occupied without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl

You could be my someone
You could be my scene
You know that I'll protect you
From all of the obscene
I wonder what your doing
Imagine where you are
There's oceans in between us
But that's not very far

Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
When ya shoved it in my face
This pain you gave to me

Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
When ya shoved it in my face

Everyone is changing
There's no one left that's real
To make up your ending
And let me know just how you feel
Cause I am lost without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl

You could be my someone
You could be my sea
You know that i will save you
From all of the unclean
I wonder what you're doing
I wonder where you are
There's oceans in between us
But that's not very far

(chorus)

Nobody told me what you thought
Nobody told me what to say
Everyone showed you where to turn
Told you where to runaway
Nobody told you where to hide
Nobody told you what to say
Everyone showed you where to turn
Showed you where to runaway

(chorus)

This pain you gave to me

You take it all
You take it all away...
This pain you gave to me
You take it all away
This pain you gave to me
Take it all away
This pain you gave

and realize finally how i feel...

Is This THe END of the road?

2005-05-17T23:05:00.000-07:00

wat A twist of events... i dunno y she suddely treat mi like this... totally nonsensical.. just get quite pissed off cause we have diff beliefs and so we quaarel more den we talk.. i dunno... my fault i guess.. its always anyways to her i guess... den she starts acting like she duuno mi and stuff lidat.. gal u gotta understand how i feel okieza? i mean u gotta learn to emphatize.....
gal... i am not a perfect person.. i have mi flaws... i have mi own personality... gal.. i am HUMAN!!! u cant expect mi to be someone who is like Jesus Christ cause there is no way i can match up to dat... u expect too much frm mi... and there is no way i can live up to so many requirements.. expextations u hsve of mi... i am sorry but the fact remains is that i reallli like u alot... and dats not a crime is it?...... does it warrant mi to be perfect to love u? y MUST IT BE SO HARD WHY???!!! gal... even though i am imperfect... wat i have for u is true honest love... nothing more nothing less i just realli hope that there is still a chance betweeen us
at the mean time i will try my best to live up to yur expextations...
i realli miss those times... now we are all so cold.. y?
i wil respect yur decision on taking it slow but i hope in the fufture we can be togther...
just because i am not perfect does not mean i do not love u honestli... haiz.. i realli dunno wat to sae to u.. i feel angry yet i cant bear to.. tried to find someone else but no one can replace the weightage of u in mi heart.. even id it sounds cliche... i dun care thats just how i feel...
i know u dun like mi to blog bout such stuff.. but guess thats the onli way to get it across to u... stupidly i realli love u alot...
hope we can get it going slowli and see where it brings us... love ya peeps.. mark signing off.. take care u guys alright

Scars

2005-05-17T23:00:00.000-07:00

guess this songs just so approprate... my feeling are lilke haiz... anyways.. check this out

I tear my heart open, I sow myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

Drunk and I'm feeling down
and I just wanna be alone
I'm pissed cause you came around
Why don't you just go home
Cause you channel all your pain
and I can't help to fix myself
Your making me insane
All I can say is

Chorus

I tried to help you once
A kiss will only vise
I saw you going down
But you never realized
That your drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassions in my nature
Tonight is our last dance

Chorus

I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
and I just wanna be alone
You shouldn't ever came around
Why don't you just go home?
Cause your drowning in the water
and I tried to grab your hand
and I left my heart open
but you didn't understand
but you didn't understand
You fix yourself

I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life

Chorus x2

finalli got time blog...while studying history!!!

2005-05-08T15:49:00.000-07:00

gosh.. i cant believe how long i didnt touch mi com.. like 1-2 wks???!!! nuts siaz... sup ppple.. hows life? cheers to those frm FTP and 05B13!! how u guys comin along in ya own JCs and polys.. hope ya guys doing fine ed?!
nowadaes mi reallli busy siaz... in school so much tests his week alone gt history econs lit!!! headache siaz...
i felt that inone of the ways i came SR is a blessing is that i met this special someone... hope dat she will remain special...k wait i dunno wat i saeing...hahaz... anyways..... she saes that she wants more time to understand each other before having a relationship...well... guess i gotta agree...hahaz... i do enjoy courting her.. which is the status quo...hahaz... hope that in the end we can be together... wrote alot of songs for her hope 1 dae she would listen when i have the guts to show her...hahaz... in i opinion sending her home everydae is a previllege i dun wanna lose...
anyways.. wish mi luck k okiez? hahaz...peace
debate wise.. yea thanks EMU... i did get onto the first team of SR... the team does have potential k? hahaz...... for the SMU hammers yuppy think will be taking part.. for exposure... yea now prepping for ACJC invites... yea
pple frm 05B13 can the outing be on june hols lidat gt more time? asap reply k? luv ya all peace out!!!!!!

Rough draft by yellowcard.. super nice

2005-04-16T22:45:00.000-07:00

like a saturday night i'll be gone
like a saturday night i'll be gone before you knew i was there
so you wrote it down, im supposed to care
even though its never there
sorry if im not prepared
is it hard to see the things you substitute
for me and all my thoughts of you
its eating me alive to leave you

maybe its childish and maybe its wrong
but so is your blank stare in lieu of this song

dont want to be, dont want to be wrong
your leaving me, your leaving me in lieu of this song
breathing in your skin tonight
quiet is my loudest cry
wouldn't want to wake the eyes that make me melt inside
and if its healthier to leave you be
may a sickness come and set me free
kill me while i still believe that you were meant for me

finding my own words, my own little stage
my own epic drama, my own scripted page
ill send you the rough draft, i'll seal it with tears
maybe you'll read it and i'll reapear
from the start it was shaky, and the characters rash
a nice setting for heartache where emotions come last
all i have deep inside, to overcome is desired
of friendly intentions and fairweathers smiles

like a saturday night i'll be gone
reapt x3
like a saturday night i'll be gone before you knew i was there

P.S just felt this song is meaningful so yea...

Debate... its an uphill battle for mi... must presevere...

2005-04-15T23:00:00.000-07:00

This is life?????????
tiring siaz... the school cirriculum getting more and more heated up .. can start to feel the heat...hahaz
histoey still okiez... econs is fun.. lit is like chimology.. wat will be will be... stuff like dat.. wa lau... siao liaoz!!!
hahaz.. kidding lahz.. lit still quite okiez too.. interesting...
CCA.. wah dat one no joke.. super stress siaz... Mr singh and chaco very fierce lahz... crazy wan... darn sarcastic.. phew... debates realli killing mi.. but too bad its mi passsion.. sooooooooooo... gotta carry on with it... yeah.. DEBATES RAWKS
1A01 of SRJC rawks... lurve that place.. pple there are so cool!!!!!! (sup BELLE!!!lolxx...)
anyways busy like siao for debates... guys when u guys want the outing to be 05B13???!!! tag mi asap ed?...... see ya all very very soon??? peace out!
P.S wats jingy doing in AC debates..........hmmmm...hmmmmm....hmmmmm...

Settled contented happy...

2005-04-10T23:27:00.000-07:00

Yawnz...... again found time to blog... just miss the first three mths alot... miss zhao skool alot... wonder hows all mi peeps doin... a shout out for ya all WASSUP 05B13!!!!!!!.. hahaz.. yeah.. drop mmi on how ya all doin ed?..
SRJC's been great.. teachers are great pple there are great.. debates theyre all great...
and speaking bout debates this few wks are gonna be hectic for me...
just so much talent in the debate squad makes competiton so heated up in the trials... but i aint gonna flinch.. i am aiming to become the chosen three to the squad... hope i do make it... hahaz... crossing fingers now...
studying pressure yeah.. starting to feel it now...
loads of lit history econs gp chi stuff to study bout.. den still got pw.. whoa.. logging off now.. blog again soon.. p.s zixuan... plz msg mi.. gt something to ask u dude.. urgent!!! actualli not that urgent but yeah.. plz do get to mi soon ed?... peace out ppeps!OH YA THANKS PPLE FOR TAGGING AND THANKS PAKKY FOR DAT BOOST FOR MI MORALE.. HOPE TO SEE YA ALL SOON.. LUV YA PEEPS!!! SUP DEEK...

Super tiring siaz.. and its onli the beginning!!!

2005-04-05T21:33:00.000-07:00

............................JC finalli started proper classes.. now suddenli start to miss orientation times... haiz...miss those five mths when i just slack thru it.. now.. wah.. HUGE change tolifestyle lorz...
BUT must adapt lorz.. its just life wat.. todae i gt into pre u seminar... YEA!!!.. after mi debate coach finalli allowed mi to go for the course...
speaking bout debates .. TOMORROW'S THE TRIALS!!!!!!!!!!!!
so scared lorz.. wat if i dun make it to the starting squad.. wat if wat if wat if wat if wat if wat if wat if............
anyways.. pple wish mi luck ed!
logging off.. yawnz...

Back blogging...

2005-04-03T17:15:00.000-07:00

Sup pple.. thanks for tagging...yeah...fnalli culd fine time to blog... seem just SO busy the past week... JC life realli hectic lorz... This week applied for a few CCas went for pre u seminar audition...den gt debate trials coming wed.....fun but tiring... but in life we just have to compromise right?... yeah... now currentli as i am blogging mi doing research for debates..hahhaz...anyways for those who ask where i am i am in SRJC...intialli i thought it sucked by now i think SR is the onli plzce i wanna be in... just this unexplainable bond...haiz.. even thought i am finalli settled at SR.. i still miss FTP 4E5(2004) AND 05B13(2005 MI).. I MEAN THESE ARE TWO IMPT CLASSES IN MI LIFE...!!! "we had joy we had fun we had seasons in the sun".. wateva fuck the song continues... but yeah.. hahaz.. this song just suits 4e5 and 05B13 ed?...luv ya guys...and gals... pple frm both continents plz update mi where ya are now.. gimme a tag ed?.. blog soon again.. PEACE OUT! more songs to be posted soon.. need all of ya comments again.. will keep u notified.. PEACE OUT!(again)

Wat a moving and emotional blog.. Mark salutes ya Cyndi!

2005-03-20T23:00:00.000-08:00

yeah.. mi again.. blogging... plz tag mi on comments of mi two songs PLZ..... might be recording .. depending on ya comments ed?...... well... just finished talking to Cyn on MSN... nvr seen her since we last broke up.. kinda miss her a little...
Anyways.. den she told mi she had been blogging for the past 1 yr!
finding it interesting on wat she had to blog.. i went to look at it.. wat was in it took mi on the verge of tears...
wat was in it was the most honest reflection of love life.. and beyond... it had stories of the most heart wrenching yet behind every one lies enlightenment... i swear peeps!!!
Anyways...if u guys wanna take a look... ask mi and i would tell u her add... she's cool i swear...
anyways.. just felt i gotta sae all these...
logging off... luv ya peeps.. ya too cyn! god bless...

I guess it is just paranoia.. which is a blessing in duiguise

2005-03-19T12:30:00.000-08:00

Blogging in the morning since was too tiredlast night.. yeah.. anyways was glad United won 1-0 aganist Fulham last night... even though it was a small margin.. well.. at least they won...hahaz...
I've realized after so much thinking that i was pissed for nothing after the past few daes...it originated from nothing at all...
i felt i wasnt being rationale for the past few daes at all... and yesterdae afternoon after a pretty long talk with f... and thinking over it miself.. guess its realli paranoia.. but well.. it originates because u think too much isnt it..hahz.. i dunno...
anyway.. glad the air has already been cleared...signing off.. sup peeps...OH YA!!!!!!! BTW.. plz gimme yur comments on a new song i've just wrotek?....... just scroll down you'll see it.. titled MY WORDS... thanka... adios!

A special entry for that special someone.. Mark's self written track #2

2005-03-19T12:11:00.000-08:00

Titled: My words Words and arr by Mark

Hello gal, can u hear my words?
Come over here, i'll whisper in yur ears
U mean too much to me, it's like it's meant to be
Two hearts in one beating right against the world

(but) I dunno how to phrase
my words they sound cliche
I'm so afraid u might think that i'm a fake
So I procrastinate
Hoping that dae would come
When it'll all come out right
And u would know just how I feel

Chorus:
Plz tell mi wat to do
i'm so in love with u
Come over baby and whisper in mi ear
Gal do drop mi a hint
Cause i'm drowning in mi fears
Mi paranoia of losing u tonight...

I dunno wat to do
i'm feeling so confused
As everydae pass, I feel like I am losing u

i'm lost I have no mood
Gal help to pull mi though
Cause ALL I'VE GOT TO PULL MI THROUGH ARE MEMORIES OF U

Chorus

Bridge:
i'll hold yur hand frm now
i'll never let it go
i'll be yur guarding angel
Protect u through yur life
If u would let mi to
If u would let mi to
If u would let mi to...
------------------------------End------------------------------------

"I'm sick of this life I just wanna scream how could this happen to me?"

2005-03-17T21:45:00.000-08:00

Todae.. was a dae which... i felt was.. unexplainable... I feel this life is full of unexpected things.. pleasant and unpleasant alike..
Haiz.. i dunno if it's paranoia or wat.. but i just dunno wats goin on in my life... i met F 2 daes ago.. just gotta know her... and todae was suppposed to meet up with her..
yeah. i mean we did.. but things didnt turn out quite right..ya know.. thats life.. u always fuck up...
her friend tagged along.. and i felt like a loser.. yeah..
i felt it turned out bad.. or maybe its just paranoia winning mi belief in miself...
hope dat mi and F would ya know.. get better...
i just felt like a loser for a dae... haiz... crying like a loser...
just for todae..
hell
hope it would be better..haiz.. dunno wat to sae...logging off
luv ya 05b13...

Just another dae...

2005-03-15T00:00:00.000-08:00

Todae was just like another day.. suprisingly.. blogging has become an addiction for me...woke up at eleven was realli a luxury soon to be disposessed from me.. life at SRJC sure is gonna be full of unexpected surprises.. i still am afraid that i would lose contact with the current MI gang.. thay realli mean so much.........
anyways.. den mum dad brought mi for lunch.. den reachh hm ard 3.. more slacking b4 logging onto msn for non-sstop chatting... updated my project rockstar... and ermx.. now blogging...
1 thought struck mi mind though.. its bout teenage love... haiz... seriousli.. i feel that something i thought to be so straight foward ended up to be one full of tangles and complications.. close friends who tell mi bout their situations realli make mi speechless... and dat i realli dunno how to solve them.. perhaps.. i'm still too immature.. loggin off... adios

A special entry.. Mark's Demo Track#1

2005-03-14T23:15:00.000-08:00

Titled:Waiting Words and arr by Mark

You're out there having fun
with some guys i don't know
while i'm here still waiting
for yur call i'm faltering

i have no mood to do
all the things i'm asked to
just waiting and waiting
by the phone hope it rings

chorus:
foolishly waiting, foolishly waiting
hoping soon you'll be back to me
hopelessly waiting, hopelessly waiting
when are u comin home?
desperately waiting desperateli waiting
cause u mean too much to me
i'm falling, i'm falling
for u i'll wait for all my life

You left me, here hanging
with no rhyme or reason
heart shattered, hopes fallen
tears streaming down my face

how could u (be) so heartless
(now)i'm feeling so helpless
but i'll still be waiting
for u to come home soon

chorus

bridge
Maybe someday you feel lost and you're fallen
i'll still be there with arms wide open
i'll hold u tight, assure that you're fine
i'll hold u right throught the night
i wont sae goodbye

---------------------------

a special note to MX
Cherished the times that we spent together
it maybe short but time's not a factor
remember mefor i'll always be there
and all that i've got to pull mi through
are MEMORIES OF YOU...

There's always a first time...

2005-03-14T00:30:00.000-08:00

Finalli created a blog for myself...and i feel that havin a blog is nt such a bad thing after all..... and during this first posting i suddenlly feel that there is so much i wannna sae.. so much i wanna get off mi chest...
Gettein into Millenia Institute is realli more den just an experience for mi... wat it had in stored for mi was somethin i did not expect...
i initialli entered MI just for the sake of passin the boring 3 mths b4 the 0s are released.. den i was allocated into 05B13.. never did i know 05B13 had soooooo much instored for mi...
I found hopefully would be LIFELONG FRIENDS..i found great musicians... so mani pple dat appreciated music... i found pple whom i can click with...and i realli wanna thank these friends and BRUDDERS that i've made...realli...thanks for everythang...
Though there were disputes and "ostracizing" of certain pple.. i mean at the end of the dae.. we'll still a class and i think...dat 10 yrs down the road.. these ostracizing realli aint worth it...
(ah-su-dave-) youre forgiven...bastard...
nt forgettin steph wong.. even though she always call mi "animal" i still think she's cool.. yeah...
Aanyways..05B13 is something that has already reserved a special corner in my heart.. and even though i am reluctant to close this chpt.. i have to.. move on.. but it sure is one colourful one.. adios 05B13.. love ya peeps.. signin off...